Tuesday, October 16, 2012


I'm a couple of days late with this post, but still wanted to share my thoughts.  Monday was October 15th and for me has three separate things for remembering:

First - it was National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and Infant loss.  I have spent a lot of time these past few days thinking of our little ones in heaven.  
  • My first pregnancy - I would have been due on October 20th.  We found out on March 8th that the baby had died.  I was barely 7 weeks but didn't actually miscarry until 11 weeks. Baby Crider1 - I think of you throughout the month of October - you would be turning six.
  • My second pregnancy that only lasted long enough for me to know I was pregnant and then miscarried the next day... baby Crider2 - you would have been due September 7th.
  • When I got pregnant the fourth time, imagine our shock and delight when the ultrasound showed twins... twins!!  My Mom is a fraternal twin, so we knew it was a possibility... I was so excited.  When the "magic" 12-13 weeks had passed, we began sharing our exciting news.  Nothing prepared me for the shock of going in at 16 weeks to find that Megan's twin had died around 14 or 15 weeks.  Emily Rose, if your sister Megan is any indication of the little person you were... our house misses your joy each and every day!
  • Much like my second "pregnancy", my fifth one lasted only long enough for me to know that I was pregnant and then miscarry the following day.  baby Crider - you would also have been due in September.
  • My sixth pregnancy lasted six weeks.  We knew something was likely wrong from the get-go because all of my numbers in my blood work were much lower than previous pregnancies.  We lost this little one while visiting family in Cleveland... baby Crider - you would have been due in November... I was pretty excited with the idea that I had a chance for an 11-11-11 baby!
Second - it was the first anniversary of burying Jessica.  I didn't realize that her burial coincided with the National Day of Remembrance, but find it fitting even though she wasn't an infant.

Thirdly - and on a happier note... October 15th marked 10 months for little Lauren.  It's hard to believe how fast the time is going by!!


Kortni said...

Your faith and strength is amazing. To lose so many babies and to keep carrying on is so tough. I lost one and that was enough. But, those baby smiles make all the tears worth it and knowing someday you will all be together! Blessings to you as you muddle through this time!

Kortni said...

By the way, I decided I really needed to blog for my family. We are too far away for me to not do it. It was really a great thing for them and us. So my new address is
http://ourdailygraces.blogspot.com/ if you care to follow along!