Prayer {Monday Meditation}

Fresh on my facebook page this Monday morning was the following:

Just the reminder I need to be more faithful in my prayer life.  There are several things weighing on my heart right now and I realized this morning that I've been trying to carry them alone.

How many times do I have to do this before I learn "the yoke is easy, and the burden light" Matthew 11:30 when I trust in God and turn all things over to Him?!

Motherhood... {Monday Meditation}

I was catching up on some of my blog reading this afternoon, and came across a post by Meaghan on Catholic Mother's Online, titled Holiness in Motherhood.

It was in that moment that God tapped on my heart and reminded me of my vocation and of the many ways motherhood makes us holy. I wanted to say I didn’t have time for this. I needed to be cleaning or simply sitting down and regaining my sanity. Why didn’t my toddler hear the tick tock of my precious free time dwindling? The dishes were piling up in the sink ... [he] needed my presence. He needed me to say “I’m here and there is no where else I would rather be.”

We can make motherhood so complicated, but in many ways it’s really about doing simple things with great consistency. My children need my presence. They need a Momma who is patient. Our days require us to continually die to ourselves, and to let go.

Wow...

The Ordinary {Monday Meditation}

I think one of the biggest struggles of being a SAHM is the ordinary.  The simple repetitive motion of each day; the repetition of the same tasks over and over; the thankless tasks of wiping noses, changing diapers, picking up toys to turn around and do it all over again; the "Mommy, I want..." and the "Mommy, I don't want..." in constant repetition. 

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On my better days, I remind myself of the above.  It is in the ordinary acts of my day that God speaks to me when I let Him.  It is in the ordinary acts of discipline, care, and love that I show my children how much I love them.  It is in the ordinary routine of our day at home that I find comfort and peace.  It is in the ordinary acts of self-discipline and balance in my day that my soul thrives, grows, and comes to love God (and therefore my family) more each day.

So when I hit that point where I think I might scream if I change one more poopy diaper, or grumble at cleaning up a pile of toys that has already been picked up three times, or look in disbelief at clothes hampers that somehow are filled to overflowing in the two days since I addressed them - I remind myself of this.  My vocation is to be here at home.  God calls me to this "job".  And because it is a divine vocation the grace and beauty in every single "ordinary" action really makes them extraordinary!

2013 Redux - Balance {Monday Meditation}

Back in January, I shared my word for the year... Discipline.  That was (and still is) a primary focus for 2013.  I am finding though, as I move further into the year and work on discipline, that there is an element in life (my life at least) that needs more attention in order to be successful at the areas I want to be more disciplined in.  Balance.

Image Source: http://mommyof3byme.com/2012/02/29/finding-balance-in-raising-children/

Balance - (noun) a state of equilibrium between contrasting, opposing, or interacting elements. - (verb) to bring into harmony or proportion.

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Life... while it may occasionally be a static balance, a momentary state of equilibrium; it by its very nature, is dynamic.  Life balance is the action of distributing in correct proportions all the elements of your day so that life is in harmony and then perpetually re-evaluating and redistributing as necessary! 

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I guess that is the hardest element of balance for me:  Remembering that it takes very little to tip the scales in one direction or another.   It feels as though I work to get a good balance in things and then before I know it, I realize that balance is gone!  As I said, working on discipline has brought this perpetual act of balancing to my attention... so in a sense, balance and discipline go hand in hand... you must be disciplined in being purposeful about the balance of your life!

So as I evaluate the elements in my life, it comes down to this list (in priority):

1. Faith
2. Family
3. Friends
4. Finances
5. Fitness
6. Food

There are areas within each element that I need to work on bringing into balance.  In addition, I need to work on the elements as a whole so that when I look at my life, the priority I have them listed above is obvious.

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In the remaining five weeks of Lent, I'll spend a little time on each element and share my goals for balance for each one. 

Ultimately, my desire is the same as with discipline - to be an example for my girls on how to live humbly, wisely, and purposefully as a daughter of the King.

Be Not Afraid {Monday Meditation}

These were some of the favorite words of Blessed Pope John Paul II ... I remember them well and can still hear his voice saying them... "Be Not Afraid!" 

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This morning when I got online and saw the news that Pope Benedict XVI will be retiring at the end of the month, the shock wore off and the worry set in.  In this current culture of relativism, "all about me", everything must be "progressive"... it is hard not to worry.  It is hard not to be concerned about who will be chosen to lead my beloved church.  But the words of Blessed Pope John Paul II came to me... "be not afraid"... that phrase is so calming.  Just simply saying it brings a peace to my heart.  I've been repeating it endlessly this morning!

The timing is no accident, I know.  Just before the start of Lent when we are called to place ourselves in the desert to prepare for Easter - how joyful to have additional incentive for our sacrifices and prayers!  We have not only the joy of Easter to look forward to, but the anticipation of finding out who our new shepherd will be.

Pope Benedict XVI, both in his service as Supreme Pontiff and in his discernment to step down has given us an extraordinary witness and example of what it means to truly seek out and follow the will of God. He is such an amazing man of God and an incredible man of courage.  Knowing this, I can only but trust the will God and the trust the discernment of His chosen shepherd, Pope Benedict. 

And so, I will pray.  I will let go.  and I will let God take over.

Stop talking and start praying... {Monday Meditation}

I need to put this on every mirror in my house...

There are so many things that this applies to.  Decisions that we are trying to make, worry about kids, decisions about Karen's speech... It is so easy to get in the habit of talking and talking about a subject thinking that somehow it will lead to clarity and a decision.  I so often forget to stop talking and start listening.  To invite my Lord and Father into the decision and ask Him for guidance... as long as I keep talking about it, I certainly am not listening!

Do you ever think that sometimes God wants to slap you upside the head and say "Shut up already!  I'm trying to talk to your heart!!"

Fuel for Our Spirits {Monday Meditation}

"He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on.  There is no other."

C.S. Lewis

How true this is!  I amaze myself at how many times I must discover this truth!  When I find myself restlessly searching for something to do, or something to eat, or something to read (besides the umpteen books in my house that will feed my spirit), or something to buy... I have to remind myself that I am really searching for Him.  When I remember to take the step back and invite Him back into my day, the restlessness departs and in its place is peace.

My soul rests in God alone,
from whom comes my salvation.

God alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress;
I shall never fall.

Psalm 62:2-3

Monday Meditation - The Heroic First Minute

I read a great article last week about the first minute of your day.  It really, really got me pondering and I thought it was worth sharing.

Conquer yourself each day from the very first moment, getting up on the dot, at a set time, without granting a single minute to laziness.  If, with the help of God, you conquer yourself in that moment, you’ll have accomplished a great deal for the rest of the day.  It’s so discouraging to find yourself beaten in the first skirmish!  ... The heroic minute; here you have a mortification that strengthens your will and does not weaken your body.  St. Josemaria Escriva - The Way - #191, #206

The past week, I have been laying in bed falling asleep thinking about the first minute of the day... the HEROIC first minute as St. Escriva calls it.  That moment of choosing to get out of bed has always been a weak point for me.  The call of sleep and burying my head in the pillow and covers overwhelms me every morning.  I typically get of bed when I have to, either in order to have time to make it to an appointment or because the girls are awake and needing me.  Rarely do I get up at a certain time simply to rise and start my day.

I ponder how many days have started on the wrong foot because I linger in bed and have to rush in order to make it out the door on time.  Or how many harsh words I've spoken to little ones laying in bed with me that want to be awake but I'm not ready to join the day yet.  The grumbling moods I've been in when I finally drag myself out of bed knowing that I'd be feeling better about the day if I had just made the choice to get up sooner.  Headaches I've struggled to overcome from laying in bed half-awake, half-asleep.  The list goes on.

One of my focus points for 2013 is discipline and this challenge falls right in line with that focus.  I would love to be disciplined enough to choose a time to get out of bed and just do it.  I had a (very) brief period last fall where I was out of bed by 6:30 for about a week and it really was wonderful.  Carl is typically up early and it gave us some time in the morning together before we were both tired out from a day.  It helped me start my day on my terms rather than on that half-a-step-behind feeling.  Rather - I should stay it helps me start the day on God's terms... because when I do manage to get up without dragging it out, I typically remember to say morning prayers, to offer the day up to Christ, just generally be better disposed to accept and tackle the day for what it is!

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So... how do I go about making this change?  Part of it is "simply" deciding to do it.  Not wanting to do it, or intending to do it... but just doing it.  Does that distinction make sense?

It is about conquering my will and strengthening it.  I recognize that I have three toddlers... one of which is still waking up several times at night - so no time is going to feel like the right time to start this.  I recognize that deciding to do this means that I need to start making choices at night that put me in bed before the 11 - 12:30bed time I've been on as of late.  I recognize that I also need to make sure I don't fall down the slippery slope of thinking that all sleeping in is a bad thing.  But on days that I do linger in bed, I want it to be purposeful - meaning I want to have chosen the night before that sleeping in is on the agenda.

Most importantly, this "heroic first minute" is an opportunity to bring my heart close to God.  To strengthen my will by overcoming myself.  To become a better mom, wife, and daughter of Christ by embracing the day at it's start!  I will fail, but I am strong in Christ and will continue to try and will succeed.

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