Motherhood... {Monday Meditation}

I was catching up on some of my blog reading this afternoon, and came across a post by Meaghan on Catholic Mother's Online, titled Holiness in Motherhood.

It was in that moment that God tapped on my heart and reminded me of my vocation and of the many ways motherhood makes us holy. I wanted to say I didn’t have time for this. I needed to be cleaning or simply sitting down and regaining my sanity. Why didn’t my toddler hear the tick tock of my precious free time dwindling? The dishes were piling up in the sink ... [he] needed my presence. He needed me to say “I’m here and there is no where else I would rather be.”

We can make motherhood so complicated, but in many ways it’s really about doing simple things with great consistency. My children need my presence. They need a Momma who is patient. Our days require us to continually die to ourselves, and to let go.

Wow...

2013 - the Year of "Discipline"

Have you noticed a theme to my last few posts?  Over the last few months, one idea has been on my mind more and more.  Discipline... exercising my will for the choices I should make instead of the ones I want to make in the immediate moment.

Image Source: http://www.awgp.org

I realize how much our days are influenced by my choices.  I also realize how easy it is to give in to procrastinating - it can always be done tomorrow, right?  The many bad patterns I am still working through after months of struggling with post-partum depression.  (which is infinitely better by the way, it's just time to kick the remnants that have taken up residence in my every day living to the curb!).

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But besides working on eradicating bad patterns, I am finding more and more the harmony that is present in my house when I exercise self-discipline and work to form good habits.  From something as simple as picking up little kids shoes and coats into the closet after we walk through the door instead of kicking the shoes onto the mat by the door and piling the coats on the washer/dryer.  Both actions take roughly the same amount of effort but the latter used to be my modus operandi.  The former leaves my room looking clean and neat and me feeling like my house (at least this small part) is in the correct order.  A small thing, yes, but so powerful!  To something less simple, like choosing to prioritize morning prayers and scripture reading ahead of computer time or housework.  It is easy to fool myself into thinking that time is too busy to sit down for 10 or 20 minutes... but I find the time to catch up on computer!  Again, harmony comes when I choose to make time in my day for God... everything seems to fall into place better.  It becomes a matter of making choices Self-discipline.

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I want to set an example for my kids that acts of the will, choices we make, choices we DON'T make... are the things in this world that we can control.  That ultimately it is up to us how we choose to live and whether those choices will be for our good or not.  That the more care we take to be disciplined in our thoughts, in our actions, and in our deeds - the stronger we become!

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Goals...

ok - so I've never been a big one for new year's resolutions.  I always figure if you need to make a change just start making it!  As I've gotten older, I'm starting to see the attraction of a new calendar year giving incentive to make some changes...  I would also say that this year, having Lauren just before the first of the year adds even more incentive for me.  In the interest of holding myself accountable for some of the changes I want to make, I want share some of my goals for the upcoming months/year.

I've broken them into categories:

Faith

This is one that I need so much work on!!  Two books I've read recently that have given me significant food for thought are "The Story of a Soul" by St. Therese of Lisieux and "The Family that Overtook Christ" about the family of St. Bernard... I see how much room I have to improve on the love for Christ - and it seems from reading their stories that cultivating a deeper love of Christ so much follows from it.  But try and be succinct in my goals:

1. Through prayer, reading, meditation, recieving the Eucharist, etc. cultivate and grow my relationship and love of Christ
2. Make morning prayer with my girls a standard of our day
3. Set aside some time to pray with Carl (besides just at meal times and bedtime with the girls!!)
4. Continue to read books that nourish my mind and soul and don't provide just entertainment!

Family

1. More patience with my girls... this has taken a nose-dive since I had Lauren but at some point I need to quit using that as an excuse!
2. More patience with Carl... ok, not that he really does much that requires patience but being that he is the only other adult in the house he tends to get the brunt of my frustration, impatience, etc. at the end of a day... I'm sure many can relate, but I still need to work on it!!
3. I've been working really hard on structure in my life, my house, etc. and want to continue to make that a goal.  The girls seem to be thriving more on knowing what our days look like.  This has been a little (ok, a lot) more haywire since Lauren was born but it's slowly coming back to a regular routine.
4. Eradicating the idea that I am EVER "caught up on laundry"... it just doesn't happen and as soon as I think this, I take a few days "off" ... and have over-flowing hampers again.  I need to pound the idea "staying on top of" laundry into my head... this implies a continuous process and is so much more conducive!
   

Nutrition

1. Eat better!!  I love all the foods that just aren't good for me and not helpful in getting rid of this baby weight!  I want to get better at eating good, introducing more vegetables to our diets, and maybe getting the pantry cleaned out of all the "snacks" that sabotage good eating. :)
2. Make a meal plan.  This relates to the first item, but I find when I take the time to make a meal plan we eat better, I'm more prepared, and so much less "frustrated" at meal times!
3. I've been considering trying a paleo "diet" for a while to break my dependence on breads and other carbs/grains... I LOVE bread but eat way to much of it.  My sister has been trying this and feels so much better (but she has rheumatoid arthritis and so is doing it for different reasons).

Fitness

1. My over-arching goal is just to be comfortable in my own skin again - which hasn't been the case since I had Karen. 
2. Working on being able to do 100 pushups (and hopefully a pull-up or two)!!
3. There are several runs I would like to do:

• St. John Hog Jog - 5 mile run in late April
• Bloomsday - 7.46 mile run the first weekend of May
• Windermere Half Marathon - the middle of May
• Race the River - Sprint Triathlon (oh my!!) - late July
• Dirty Dash - sometime this summer
• Another run or two into the fall to keep my running moving forward!

Finding some structure... an update!

So I posted last month how my lack of structure and routine was starting to kick my butt... well, I got sick on top of it and then it REALLY kicked my butt!!  So... I'm giving you an update on what is developing in my life with regards to a routine (ack! structure!) ... and surprising myself with how much I'm liking it!

A caveat before I lay it out... this is a rough outline which obviously needs to be filled in some places with more detail.  I expect that to happen as we get more used to living within a routine!  Secondly... as with most things, about the time you feel like you've figured things out something comes along to throw a wrench it in it... I realize that this will more than likely happen to my "beautiful" plan, but if I continue to use that as an excuse not to make one, I'll be in the same place I was a month ago!

Sunday - Church and Family Day

Too often right now, Sunday's are a our "make-up" day for outside chores, inside chores, etc.  I would love to get back to what Sunday is supposed to be, a day of rest (which with my husband's farming and soon-t0-be coaching schedule - he needs!) and family "fun" - whatever that entails.  

Monday - Appointment and Errand Day
Karen has Speech Therapy and every other week I will be having my OB appt. until Crider Baby3 makes his/her appearance.  It's an hour drive one-way, so this is a minimum of a three hour round trip for us.  I plan to try and do grocery shopping and/or town errands this day if it works

Tuesday - Home Day!! 
With all of our running around, I'm starting to cherish these!  My goal on Tuesdays is to be more structured in my play with the girls and to tackle one "project" ... I use the word loosely as it could be something as simple as carving out an hour or two to work on my quilt, tackling a closet that needs organizing, catching up on our budget, etc.

Wednesday - School, Appointments, and Errand Day
Karen has preschool and then we have to leave by 10 for her 2nd speech therapy session.  My goal is to try and have myself ready to go so that when Megan and I come back home from taking Karen to school, I can focus on other things in the house besides getting ready!  I would like for Wednesdays to be my "quick" cleaning day... doing those weekly cleaning items like bathrooms, a quick run through with the vacuum, etc.  I should be able to do this (if I'm not trying to get ready) in the two hours between when I take Karen to school and pick her up!  Since we are in town again, this is another opportunity for groceries and/or errands if I'm organized!

Thursday - School and Home Day
Karen has preschool (and speech therapy at the school).  She is dropped off between 8:00 and 8:15 - then Megan and I have three hours before we head back into town to pick her up.  This time can be used to 1. spend some one-on-one time with Megan, 2. tackle something that is hard to do with 2 little ones underfoot, or 3. engage Megan in something so that I can have some time to "myself" to catch up on reading, housework, blogging... :)

Friday - Another Home Day!! 
Yay!  I'd like to follow my plan for Tuesdays with the additional item of completing any household items (cleaning, laundry) that are outstanding so that we go into the weekend with a fresh house!

Saturday - House Day
We have soooo many little and big house projects that we are hoping to get done before the weather changes and the baby comes.  If I do a better job during my week of taking care of the every-day items, we can use this day to focus on these projects (and maybe I'll be able to carry some of them into my Tuesday/Friday routine!).

I feel like this is a pretty reasonable approach to putting some structure into our daily life.  As you can see - the structure is kind of already there because of Karen's appointments, but I was still flying by the seat of my pants most days.  This gives me something to work towards. But what do you think?  Am I being as reasonable as I think or does this sound like I'm setting myself up to struggle?!  I'm praying for the former!