To run or not run? A look back

Two years ago I ran my first half marathon on the 15th of May.  It was the first time I committed to a training program and followed through on it.  I had wanted to run a marathon or half marathon for years leading up to this and just had never been able to get myself to the finish line.  Usually the problem was training too much to fast and aggravating tendonitis in my knees and then never getting myself back into training.  But partially the problem was psyching myself out before I started... Do you ever do that?  I researched what marathon (or half) I wanted to run, then spent a ton of time looking at training programs, I even registered a couple of times... and then NEVER EVEN STARTED!

Anyway - two years ago was different.  I had Megan in October and had many complications post-delivery.  When I was finally cleared for normal activities just after the first of the year, I was SOOOO ready to do something "normal" with and for my body.

I decided to commit to running the half marathon I always wanted to do.  I picked one that was scheduled far enough in the future that training for it was reasonable but not soo far out that I would lose focus before I even started.  I picked a training program I thought I could follow - I only had to run 3 days a week!.  Finally, for the first time, I chose a really conservative pace goal.  I wanted to simply shoot for a 10 - 10:30 minute mile.

For the most part, I succeeded.  The last couple of weeks of training did not quite occur as planned, but I felt ready.  At the last minute, my husband decided to attempt running the half with me (with no training)... It was really good to have a running buddy, although a little hard to stomach that he was managing without "much" effort.  I ended up finishing to race in 2:00:14 ... beating my time goal by 10 minutes and barely missing the hitting 2 hours!!

I always tell Carl that it was his fault that I missed the 2 hour mark.  He ran with me, but started having trouble with IT band pain and so we stopped a few times so he could stretch it.  After the third or fourth time (about the 7 mile mark) he told me to go on ahead so he wouldn't continue to hold me up.  So I did, he finished a few minutes behind me.  I only jokingly "blame" him... my time was so much better than my goal, it is hard to not be really happy with it, and I know that I gained some energy and time by running next to him for half the race.

So the half I was training for is coming up on Saturday and I still haven't decided if I'm running.  I've only gotten in one run in the last three weeks and my longest run to-date is 10 miles (ran well over a month ago).  I definitely know that if I choose to run on Saturday, I will be running it, not racing it.  But even so, it is hard to consider not running it - it has been my goal since I had Lauren in December (and even before).  What to do...